"A Mother's Impact"

May 9/04 Mother's Day 2Tim.1:3-7; 1Tim.5:9-10

Timothy's Training

Lystra was a small rural town about 100 km from the Mediterranean in the heart of the grain-growing belt of Asia Minor. In this family there lived a boy named Timothy, whose name meant "one who honours God". Little Tim's dad was a Greek, maybe a farmer as the town's coinage shows a goddess with grain in her hand. He worshipped, when he chose to, at the pagan temples like his neighbours, recalling legends about Zeus and Hermes. He may have had too much of a fondness for wine, which may have been a disruptive addiction for the family, for little Tim later in life tried to avoid alcohol (1Tim.5:23).

      But whatever sadness and fear and uncertainty factored into the child Tim's life on account of his dad's worship and drinking habits were more than offset by the presence of two wonderful women in his life: his mother Eunice, and grandma Lois, who lived with him as part of the extended family arrangement. These fine ladies were the glue that held the family together despite the father's unpredictability. They were both devout Jews, and brought the stability of the Torah and the peacefulness of daily prayer into the home, counteracting any weaknesses and irascibility of the father. They surrounded mealtimes with prayers of thanks to Yahweh, the Most High Creator. They taught little Tim the passages of holy Scripture and checked him on it until he had it down by heart. When the dad showed gruffness or impatience with the growing youth, they cried with him, picked him up, and encouraged him to try again. All the while Eunice and Lois carried on without complaint in the tedious tasks that fell to women of the day: laundry at the river, hauling jars of water, preparing food, and trying to keep a farm home neat and tidy. Whenever there was a need in the community, a birth or death or marriage or fire, Tim's mom and grandma were there, offering clothing, any food they could spare, or simply lamenting with the ladies in time of loss. They held the home together, and to some extent they held the town together, lending assistance to any who were suffering somehow. Their favourite times seemed to be the Sabbath, when they rested as much as possible and took joy in recalling the teachings of Moses and the Prophets.

      Then one day something happened that made little Tim's ears tingle. Two strangers named Paul and Barnabas visited the town, and healed a man who had been crippled in his feet and never walked from the time he was born (Acts 14:8ff). What strange magic was this! It turned out these two men were Jewish, like his mom and grandma; they claimed it wasn't them that did the healing, but Yahweh the living God. Yet the town rejected them, stoning them shortly after they performed the great miracle. But they didn't die. Before long they were back in town, talking about "the kingdom of God" and saying people had to go through many hardships to enter it. They seemed to be claiming a man named Jesus was the hoped-for Jewish Messiah, and what's more, they quoted many Hebrew scriptures to prove it. Timothy was intrigued. His mother and grandmother believed this message about Jesus because it made so much sense of the ancient writings. One day little Tim, too, believed and confessed Him as Lord - regardless of what his father thought about it!

      Some years later, when Tim was a teenager, Paul came back, this time with a different companion named Silas. By now quite a little community of Christ-followers had sprung up in the area. Tim showed an interest in their project, and Paul invited him to join them, because the local leaders recommended this bright, quiet youth despite his weak constitution. Eunice and Lois must have beamed to realize their son/grandson was going to accompany the apostles. All their years of preparation were coming to a pay-off. For the rest of his life, Timothy the farm-boy would become one of Christianity's key operatives, taking a message which was widely viewed as subversive and suspicious into ever-new areas. It would be dangerous and deadly work; was their little Tim up to it? Right after he was recruited, in order to avoid objections by Jews in the area, this teenaged young man had to endure the painful procedure of circumcision. "Welcome to the mission field..." OUCH! Nevertheless, young Tim hung in there. He would accompany Paul loyally through many sufferings, hardships, and imprisonment. Two letters of the New Testament would be addressed to him and preserved for posterity by the church. The investment of Eunice and Lois in this boy's life would bear fruit for a long time. Their mothering (and grandmothering) resulted in true impact.

Bringing Up Children

On Mother's Day, we honour women who pour out their lives to rear the next generation. (If you're not a woman, or not a mother, please don't tune out; you can adapt this to whatever young lives you influence.) Whether home full-time or part-time due to financial pressures, mothers have a vital role to play in children's lives. In Paul's first letter to Timothy, he describes qualifications for widows who should be considered eligible to be placed on the church's support list when they have no family surviving to care for them. In this list we see a summary (at least partially) of what Biblically constitutes a godly woman. 1Tim.5:9-10: such a woman "has been faithful to her husband, and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the saints, helping those in trouble, and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds." For those who don't absolutely HAVE to work to earn family income, there's certainly lots of scope here to fill up volunteer hours! Focusing for a moment on "bringing up children", how do we see this spelled out in the case of Timothy?

      The most important thing a mom can pass on is a SINCERE FAITH. Strictly speaking, faith is a gift from God (Eph.2:8) and comes primarily through the Holy Spirit; but there are things a mother can do to INCLINE a son or daughter towards believing in Christ. We can structure our home environment and habits so as to prepare the best possible seedbed in which faith can take root and grow. 2Tim.1:5 Paul says, "I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also." What are we doing in our homes that will pre-condition our offspring to adopt our religious convictions, our trust in God, as their own? John Westerhoff had a saying that "faith is CAUGHT, not taught". This is true in the sense that faith goes beyond head-learning and concepts to heart-trust and hope. Believing in Jesus boils down to a day-in, day-out lived relationship, a "walk" or lifestyle that is far bigger than just memorized truths. We have "first response" units that speed out to emergencies when there's a fire or an accident. What's your "first response" when an emergency arises? What do you look towards, call upon, resort to or lean on when difficulty strikes? As Christians, we discover that trusting in God, calling on Him, fully relying upon the Lord gives real strength and help in time of need. When tragedy strikes, as well as in the routine of grace at daily mealtimes, hopefully our children will see us turning to Jesus and connecting our hearts to Him in prayers of thanks and request.

      It was Job's "regular custom" to intercede for his children, and sincere faith will draw us to pray often for our kids too (Job 1:5). Even - or especially - when they go counter to what we'd like. Chuck Swindoll recalls a cute Mother's Day card that had little child's printing on the cover, along with a little boy with untied sneakers, a wagon, and toys strewn everywhere. He had a little cut on his face and there were smudges all over this card. The printing said, "Mom, I remember that little prayer you used to say for me every day..." Inside the cover: "God help you if you ever do that again!"

      Hopefully our prayers will be more sincere than that one!

      Besides faith, in bringing up kids there is the legacy of TRAINING IN GOD'S WORD. In 2Tim.3:15 Paul says to his protege, "you know...how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus." "From infancy" - maybe Eunice or Lois sang "Scripture in Song"-like verses to the nursing baby. Anyway, as little Tim grew, they made sure he became familiar with what we now call the Old Testament. My parents gave me my first Bible (KJV) when I was 8. Over the next years with their help I would memorize verses and be "tested" on them by my aging grandmother, who lived across the road. Then when I was 10 my grandfather made a Christmas gift of a Bible in the New English version. These small actions started getting God's Word into me. Now, this doesn't guarantee your kids will decide to receive Jesus as Lord and Saviour, but it does get God's truth into their conscience as a constant frame of reference that will go on guiding them, prepping them for the Holy Spirit's conviction, long after you're out of the picture.

      Another gift Timothy's mother gave was AN AFFECTIONATE HEART. Paul writes in 2Tim.1:4, "Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy." Tears? Is this MEN we're talking about here? Seems that Timothy actually cried when he and his dear mentor Paul had to separate.

      Scripture training on its own could result in someone becoming very legalistic, "holier than thou". Timothy's mother had trained him that it was OK to show affection through tears; that it's all right, and doesn't make you less of a man, to express your feelings deeply. Communicate the endearment.

      Antoinette Kuritz recalls, "From the time each of my children started school, I packed their lunches. And in each lunch I packed, I included a note. Often written on a napkin, the note might be a thank-you for a special moment, a reminder of something we were happily anticipating, or a bit of encouragement for an upcoming test or sporting event. In early grade school they loved their notes. But as kids grow older they become more self-conscious, and by the time he reached high school, my older son, Marc, informed me he no longer needed my daily missives. Informing him that they had been written as much for me as for him, and that he no longer needed to read them but I still needed to write them, I continued the tradition until the day he graduated.

      "Six years after high school graduation, Marc called and asked if he could move home for a couple of months. He had spent those years well, graduating from college, completing two congressional internships and finally, becoming a legislative assistant. With his younger sister leaving for college, I was especially thrilled to have him coming home. A couple weeks after Marc arrived home, he was back at work. Since I was still making lunch every day for his younger brother, I packed one for Marc, too. Imagine my surprise when I got a call from my 24-year-old son, complaining about his lunch. "Did I do something wrong? Aren't I still your kid? Don't you love me any more, Mom?" were just a few of the queries he threw at me as I laughingly asked him what was wrong. "My note, Mom," he answered. "Where's my note?"

      Passing on an affectionate heart.

      Eunice also raised her boy to have AN UNSELFISH ATTITUDE. Paul wrote to the church of Philippi before sending Timothy to them, "I have no one else like him, who takes a genuine interest in your welfare.For everyone looks out for his own interests, not those of Jesus Christ." (Php.2:20f) Timothy was unselfish, taking a genuine interest in the churches - really caring about them. This was in contrast to other workers, especially those preaching heresies, that were out to make a business out of ministry. Somewhere along the way, Timothy had picked up from his predecessors that it was possible and beneficial to look after others' needs first - an extension of Jesus' "love your neighbour as yourself" teaching - quite in contrast to modern society's "me-first" attitude. Love "seeks not its own" but "always protects", reaching out in a caring way to the other person.

      Mothers are renowned for looking after their children's needs. The story is told of a scout camp inspection in which the director found an umbrella neatly rolled inside the bedroll of a small scout. As an umbrella was not listed as a necessary item, the director asked the boy to explain. The young man gave a weary sigh and said, "Sir, did you ever have a mother?"

      Timothy learned to unselfishly care for others.

      As well, his mother taught him to be A TEAM PLAYER. Timothy learned to work alongside the sometimes demanding Paul his whole life. Php.2:22, "you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel." Timothy didn't demand "my way or the highway", but worked as one member of a team that included Silas, Titus, Onesimus, and others in Paul's crew. He had a servant attitude, one that could pitch in and help out wherever most needed.

      Teamwork takes many forms. A mother recalls, "One day my young daughter was late coming home from school. I was both annoyed and worried. When she came through the door, I demanded in my upset tone that she explain why she was late. She said, 'Mommy, I was walking home with Julie and halfway home Julie dropped her doll and it broke into lots of little pieces.' The mother replied, 'Oh, honey, you were late because you helped Julie pick up the pieces of her doll to put them back together.' In her young and innocent voice the daughter said, 'No, Mommy. I didn't know how to fix the doll. I just stayed to help Julie cry.'"

      A team player may simply help someone cry!

Valuable Unpaid Ministries of the Godly Woman

The other phrases in Paul's list of qualifiers for a worthy widow in 1Tim.5:9-10 reveal other attributes God longs to bring about in the lives of women who belong to Christ. V9 mentions being "faithful to her husband." That's an aspect that's fallen by the wayside in the lives of too many film stars and high-profile idols today.

      After "bringing up children" (as we just talked about), there are several characteristics that apply to all women regardless of whether they're mothers or not; so if Mother's Day leaves you feeling a little left out, here's where you can pay special heed! V10 mentions "showing hospitality". I remember many occasions when my own mother set an extra plate at the table for a visitor, or got a late-night snack ready for relatives. As my Uncle Don used to call out good-naturedly from the living room when she'd made her way to the kitchen, "Don't bother with pie if you've got cake!"

      "Washing the feet of the saints" - this can range from practical assistance with daily needs, all the way to emotionally or spiritually refreshing someone who's down. As we go about life in this fallen world, we get grimy even without actually sinning; or stuff happens that weighs us down and depresses. Sometimes just to talk to a fellow believer, a sister or brother in Christ, can encourage us and set us on our feet again, just knowing someone else cares; they become a conduit of God's grace and compassion. This ministry may involve taking time to talk (or more accurately, mainly listen) to someone on the phone. Leading a small group or taking part in a ministry such as Coffee Break is another way of "washing the feet of the saints". Looking after the plants or pets in someone's house for them while they're away - it's all refreshing.

      "Helping those in trouble": many, many valuable volunteer ministries are out there awaiting the godly woman, spontaneous or organized. Things like coming alongside teen moms to offer real help, as our women's ministry is doing in conjunction with YFC. Hours spent by the bedside of someone needing palliative care, or taking a lonely senior out for a drive and a cup of tea. It all helps.

      "Devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds." I remember one grandmother locally who has had her own medical troubles but makes it her year-round ministry to knit mittens for the Christmas basket program. It doesn't have to be big, but most people can do something, for someone, somewhere; there's a whole variety of good deeds that are needed in God's Kingdom enterprise. And so doing, you will find great fulfillment in pouring your energy into a constructive project to show love to others.

"Had I Been Joseph's Mother..."

Did Eunice have any idea her shy, quiet son would one day be a major figure in the early Christian church? No. But then many of the mothers in Scripture probably had little inkling their offspring would be used of God mightily in advancing His purposes. Still, the mother's trust in God laid a foundation which would make it easier for their sons to yield to God's will and commit to His agenda, whatever the risks and consequences might be.

      I close with a poem by Billy Graham's wife, Ruth Bell Graham, in which she considers how several mothers in the Bible perhaps would have chosen other situations for their sons, but they nevertheless trained then released them for obedient service; and God's purposes prevailed through these heroes' endurance.

Had I been Joseph's mother

I'd have prayed / protection from his brothers

"God, keep him safe. / He is so young,

so different from / the others."

Mercifully, / she never knew

there would be slavery / and prison, too.

Had I been Moses' mother

I'd have wept / To keep my little son:

praying she might forget / the babe drawn

from the water / of the Nile.

Had I not kept / him for her / nursing him the while,

was he not mine? -- and she / but Pharaoh's daughter?

Had I been Daniel's mother

I should have pled / "Give victory!

-- this Babylonian horde / godless and cruel --

Don't let him be a captive -- better dead,

Almighty Lord!"

Had I been Mary, / Oh, had I been she,

I would have cried / As never mother cried,

"Anything, O God, / Anything...--but / crucified."

With such prayers importunate

My finite wisdom would assail

Infinite Wisdom. God, how fortunate

Infinite Wisdom / should prevail.

(Let's pray.)