"The Final Flight"
Funeral of Mary Ann Howson
February 15, 2002
We read in the commemoration of heroes of faith in Hebrews 11(35b-12:3): "But others trusted God and were tortured, preferring to die rather than turn from God and be free. They placed their hope in the resurrection to a better life. Some were mocked, and their backs were cut open with whips. Others were chained in dungeons. Some died by stoning, and some were sawed in half; others were killed with the sword. Some went about in skins of sheep and goats, hungry and oppressed and mistreated. They were too good for this world. They wandered over deserts and mountains, hiding in caves and holes in the ground. All of these people we have mentioned received God's approval because of their faith, yet none of them received all that God had promised. For God had far better things in mind for us that would also benefit them, for they can't receive the prize at the end of the race until we finish the race.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish. He was willing to die a shameful death on the cross because of the joy he knew would be his afterward. Now he is seated in the place of highest honour beside God's throne in heaven."
Getting ready for the Flight
A Rough Ride?
The last 6 months: a fight with cancer
These last 6 months have been difficult ones for Mary Ann and for you, her family. Someone referred to them as "six months of hell". Despite the best available medical technology - chemotherapy and the care of expert specialists and a caring family doctor - cancer has claimed the life on someone very dear to us. We feel robbed of additional years we might have enjoyed with a daughter, a mother, grandmother, a close relative, a friend. Mary Ann "ran with endurance" the race that shrivelled her physically and has now brought her to this final flight all we mortals must someday be prepared for. Our sorrow and grief at losing her may be tinged with anger, for we wish it had been otherwise. With those who knew Lazarus we wonder, "Could not He who opened the eyes of the blind have kept this person from dying?" (Jn.11:37)
Hardships of the heroes (11:35-38)
The chapter some call the Hall of Fame of the Heroes of Faith, Hebrews 11, presents a couple of categories of Biblical heroes. The list begins with those whose trust in God was rewarded with astounding miracles -- Enoch bypassing death, Noah saving animal- and human-kind, Abraham and Sarah's "miracle baby" in their old age, the escape of a nation of slaves from oppression in Egypt, and so on. These were the stories with happy endings in this life, when God intervened and blessed folks with a happier life in this world.
But that's not the whole list. Others trusted God yet were tortured, ridiculed, imprisoned like John the Baptist, stoned like Stephen, martyred like the apostles. Their quality of faith was no less than those whose fortunes turned out better. Even more than the others, these sufferers are commended for believing in God even though they lost everything as a result, even life itself on His account.
Can't answer "Why?", just realize mercy in fallenness
It has been hellish for those of us who loved Mary Ann to sit by the past half year and watch her be eaten up by a disease we were powerless to cure. It does make us angry. It does seem unfair. It could make us resentful and bitter if we're not careful. It's not wrong but very normal and acceptable to ask, "Why?" Psalm 10 begins, "Why, O LORD, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?" Psalm 88(14) calls out, "Why, O LORD, do you reject me and hide your face from me?" Even Jesus on the cross quoted Psalm 22, which ultimately affirms God's rule but begins desperately, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?"
Why, indeed? There is no simple answer or explanation that can be given. Evil is absurd, not nice and logical. Faith trusts that God in His sovereignty can and does eventually make things work together for good (Rom.8:28), but in the meantime, not knowing these mysteries of the purposes of eternity, we're left scratching our heads. The Bible does counsel us to "think outside the box" of western optimism and acknowledge that we live in a sin-infected world, a planet clenched in the grip of the Destroyer ever since our first ancestors decided to turn their backs on God and go their own way. The attitude of Jesus and the Apostles was to expect suffering in this life (Mk.8:31,34;10:30; Mt.6:34; Romans 8;17-23; 1 Peter 4:4), for until all things are made new, this world is under the cruel management of its fallen prince, the rule of sin and death. Really, we should be surprised when something goes right and people live long, not expect it and take it for granted.
In the context of eternity, our lives are a mere breath, as if we went outside on a cold night and blew air from our lungs into the cold and watched it suddenly vanish (Ps.39:11; 62:9; 144:4). These decades are the trial run, taxiing the runway, not the lasting flight. We can't understand why Mary Ann's "take off" came sooner than we would have liked. But testing and challenges do show up the mettle, the quality of what's being tested or refined. We who have been privileged to be close while Mary Ann underwent this rough ride have been impressed by her courage mustered with the Holy Spirit's help, the endurance with which she ran the race to the very end.
The Prize awaits
Better things await (11:40); hope in resurrection to a better life (11:35)
"They were too good for this world," the author of Hebrews concludes of those who suffered valiantly while trusting in God. Nor is there finally a feeling that God is unjust, that it's unfair, for this is not the end of the story. It's written, "God had far better things in mind for us that would also benefit them, for they can't receive the prize at the end of the race until we finish the race." (11:40) "They placed their hope in the resurrection to a better life" (11:35). Paul surmises in Romans 8(18,21), "Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will give us later...All creation anticipates the day when it will join God's children in glorious freedom from death and decay." There is a judgment day coming at which the score will be settled, injustice will be punished and suffering trust rewarded. God's going to make even the toughest times, the hellish times, worth our while. Mary Ann did put her faith in Jesus, she welcomed Scripture reading, she enjoyed listening to the hymns of faith. Our Almighty Saviour and Judge will not discount the faith of even a little child.
The therapy of mothering / volunteering
Cancer wasn't the only hardship Mary Ann experienced in life. She'd had other suffering, too. But she didn't get mired down in endless self-pity. Jesus said his followers would take up their cross daily, plant their life like a kernel of wheat which if it dies to that old form will produce a plentiful harvest (Lk.9:23f; Jn.12:24f). Mary Ann was a really supportive mother, at the hockey rink and in other ways. There are some long distance phone bills somewhere that can be introduced as evidence. She was good to her kids, and looked after her dog Cassie. Also, Mary Ann found volunteering was very therapeutic, it gave her a constructive outlet to take her mind off the troubles in her life. She volunteered for many years - at the school, the diners, the junior girls' youth group. She even proved that trailing around an oxygen tank doesn't have to stop you from giving of yourself! Already in this life she got a taste of the joy God gives in dying to self and sharing His love with others.
Dealing with our Baggage
Check the weighty luggage: strip off every weight, sin (12:1)
"Let us strip off every weight that slows us down," Hebrews says, "especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress.And let us run with endurance the race set before us." Over the past few months I was able to talk frankly with Mary Ann about her condition, her prospects, where it was leading to. In January, after my wife and I had taken our two older children to the airport to fly out to college, I was telling Mary Ann about the heightened security measures, how they had to check their luggage and have their carry-ons sorted through, a thorough search. About that same time I came across an excerpt in a magazine from Max Lucado's book "Travelling Light". He was writing about our need to lay aside the weight of our burdens from old resentments and bitterness. As we read later in Hebrews 12(15), "See to it that no root of bitterness springing up among you causes trouble..." Mary Ann was able to assure me she had indeed checked such baggage and dealt with past hurts, let go of resentments. We reviewed Jesus' caution that God's forgiveness of us is conditional on our own willingness to forgive others (Mt.6:14f;18:35). We may be tempted at times not to forgive that person who's hurt us so deeply -- we want to hang onto that gripe as if it somehow gives us status, power over them -- but hanging on in unforgiveness will eventually destroy us, bog us down and consume us. We've got to put that heavy trunk of past grievances on the conveyor belt and let it go.
Holding on to the Carry-ons
"What matters now?" - not possessions, but persons
Apart from what we need to let go of, are there things to hold on to as we prepare for that final flight we will all take some day? While visiting a couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that Sunday's sermon had been about the attitude Jesus teaches us to have towards material possessions in the Sermon on the Mount. I then asked Mary Ann what was important to her now. She thought a minute. It definitely wasn't money; that was no help in her condition. What was important to her was her relationships - her family, her children and grandchildren. These would be the "carry-on" bags she would take with her on the flight.
Names of grandchildren brought peace when panicky (12:23)
Around midnight the night before she died, Mary Ann had a very difficult time breathing. She was fighting for each breath, struggling to get air, so naturally she felt panicky. It was suggested to her that she think about what would help her find a "peaceful place" within herself; she started repeating the names of her 5 grandchildren, over and over, and that calmed her down until she slipped into unconsciousness. The names of those dear to her became in a very real way her "carry ons". Hebrews says believers "have come to the assembly of God's firstborn children, whose names are written in heaven." (12:23) As the names of Mary Ann's family were precious to her, so the names of those who discover new birth through faith in Christ are precious to our Heavenly Father, written before Him. He will carry us through life's trials and into His presence.
Memories of shopping bags, rummage flea-bags, and other flights
As we gather here today, each one has different memories of Mary Ann that will become part of your light-weight portable "carry on" collection. In place of luggage, shopping bags: it was a favourite pastime to go shopping together; many hours were spent perusing the stores for deals. Memories of a couple of "flea-bags" (cats) bought for a dime apiece against Mother's wishes at a rummage sale; cats who nevertheless survived, one of them, for around 20 years. Memories of less stressful hours spent sitting on the beach and watching the water at the cottage. Memories of overnight bags packed in order to fly up to North Bay and enjoy the scenery, reconnecting, and the freedom of getting away from small town life. These recollections are part of us now; they're so fond to us, it would be hard to leave them behind even if we tried.
Companions on the Flight
Our Experienced Flight Attendant (12:2 Jesus)
As we bid adieu to Mary Ann as she boards the final flight of this earthly life, we become aware she is in capable hands, with good travelling companions. Hebrews says we can run the race with endurance "by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish.He was willing to die a shameful death on the cross because of the joy he knew would be his afterward.Now he is seated in the place of highest honour beside God's throne in heaven." Jesus is the captain of the airplane, the experienced flight attendant who has been this way before us and can guide and calm us on our flight. He died for our sins and was raised to life so we might have assurance of forgiveness, and eternal life with God. He's been through hell before us, and God vindicated Him; now He's able to help us when we're tempted, because He identified with us in every respect. He gives hope even in the valley of the shadow of death, for he's no stranger to it; He's been through it all. He told his disciples he was going to prepare a place for those who trust in Him, one of the "many rooms" in His Father's home (Jn.14:2). He promised to come and get us so we might always be with Him where He is (Jn.14:3). He's our prime companion on our flight, fear disappears as we keep focussed on Him.
Our Fellow Passengers and Cheerleaders (12:1,23b)
Yet we gradually become aware of other companions. Hebrews mentions being "surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith...You have come to the spirits of the redeemed in heaven who have now been made perfect." (Heb.12:1,23b) Those heroes of the faith are cheering us on as we approach the finish line, as the engines rumble to prepare for takeoff. This may seem like the end, but it is a new beginning; our dim mortal eyes cannot perceive the spiritual universe which surrounds us, and receives those who've passed from this existence. Can you hear the echoes down the corridors of time of the encouragement of this "huge crowd" in the stands, even more animated and lively than the calling out of a rink-warming hockey mom? Mary Ann was encouraged by these all-stars of faith, and out of that encouragement found fulfillment in a life of self-giving and service. As we place our confidence in God and our Lord Jesus, we too will find help to cope with lions, dungeons, whips, cancers, whatever this world may throw at us. The strength and love Jesus gives make the rough ride bearable, even memorable...for He understands and will see us through it. Let's pray.