"The Sunday School Ruse -- and Other Deadly Myths"

Feb.10/02 Ps.78:2-8; Deut.6:1-9

Myth 1: "The Church is primarily responsible for the Christian training of my kids."

Elevator levity: "I brought you up, didn't I?"

A rather brash young man in a big city stepped onto an elevator one day and told the attendant he wanted the 29th floor. After an uneventful ride the bell dinged, the attendant opened the doors and said, "29th floor. Have a good day, son." The young man bristled at this and said icily, "Why'd you call me 'son'? I'm not your son!" The attendant held back a bemused smile as he said, "Well, I brought you up, didn't I?"

OK, so it's not the world's greatest joke! But then it's no joke the way some parents take lightly their responsibility in raising a family. We're tempted to take an "elevator attendant" approach to parenting: we don't do very much for them but claim the right of being able to say we "brought them up". It's all too easy to neglect our responsibility and try to pawn it off on someone else - school, church, their peers, or the police. God wants us to realize there's much more to raising a family than doing the bare minimum of providing food, clothes, and the car keys on occasion. As we turn to Christ, His Holy Spirit will first burden us with a sense of responsibility and love for our offspring, then help and teach us to truthfully "bring them up" in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Context: Sun.School not succeeding, try another approach; parents put onus on us (church)

This past week our leaders' meeting found itself wrestling with what to do about Sunday School. The 9:30 am children's Sunday School was sparsely attended, compared to the number of children that attended worship. We also realized the Alpha series after worship could substitute for the youth/adult Sunday School. So although we hate to ask teachers to miss the sermon, even on a rotating basis, we're experimenting while Alpha is on with having Sunday School for the younger children during the sermon time. We want to find the best solution to serve people's needs given distance and time limitations, and recognizing church leaders do have an obligation (as Eph.4:12 says) "to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up..."

This further sacrifice of the teachers, who were already volunteering their time to prepare and teach a lesson, will likely help Sunday School attendance. It is more convenient for parents. But part of the danger in getting more kids is we'll swamp our few teachers. Also, there's a danger of parents developing an attitude that's very wrong and unhealthy for the church, for families, and for themselves -- an attitude we might call "the Sunday School Ruse". And there's a cluster of associated myths or wrong attitudes that go along with it.

"Ruse" (definition): stratagem or trick

What's a "ruse"? The dictionary defines it as a "stratagem or trick", "an action intended to mislead or deceive". In this case, the deceptive attitude or "Sunday School ruse" goes like this: "We can farm out responsibility for our children's Christian formation to others." Families flock to church all over North America each Sunday because of it. At some churches, parents drop kids off at the door then go for coffee, figuring they've fulfilled their parental obligation. Some parents, recalling that Sunday School was the only substantial Christian training they received as youngsters, expect a church to offer it and feel they can then check that off the list. But is this God's plan or the Enemy's trick?

Deuteronomy 6: Parents' perpetual prerogative

In Deut.6(2) Moses says God directs people to observe his commands and laws "so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life." Note that several generations are mentioned. Moses commands the people to love God with all their heart, soul, and strength, then adds this guidance for parents (6-9): "These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.Impress them on your children.Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." (Deuteronomy 6:6-9) Faithful Jews took this literally, binding verse cards (phylacteries) on their heads and hands, and putting Scripture receptacles called mezuzot at their doors. The implication was that parents were to keep on presenting God's truth to their children at every opportunity. Wherever the kids went in the house, whatever the family was doing in the home or on the road, God's teaching would always be part of the picture. The verb "impress" translates a Hebrew word meaning to sharpen, whet, or pierce. Get the point across. Note this was not to be in the synagogue, but in the home.

Psalm 78: Transmitting truths and trust

Up to 5 different generations are mentioned in Psalm 78, in the transmission of God's wonderful deeds and statutes. "He commanded our forefathers to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children." (78:5,6) Generation to generation the story goes - and without so much as a mention of a Sunday School teacher! What's the objective? So the children would not be "stubborn and rebellious" like the ancestors "whose hearts were not loyal to God", but instead the kids would "put their trust in God", remember His deeds, and keep His commands.

Malachi 4, Luke 1: repentance readies by turning the heart toward our children

What is the verse with which the Old Testament closes? What is the hope of the ancients as they look for the arrival of the Messenger who will herald Messiah's coming? Malachi 4:6 "He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse." John the Baptist was "Mr.Repentance", this Messenger who would prepare people for the day of the Lord. The angel predicted in Luke 1(17), "And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous— to make ready a people prepared for the Lord." Repentance involves a change of heart. If you're a dad, God wants to melt your heart towards your offspring. The unregenerate self says, "I'm only responsible for ME! I'm free to do as I please, and I don't care about my obligations or the consequences!" But in godly repentance, by turning the hearts of the fathers to their children, the Holy Spirit helps dads grow beyond juvenile selfishness to put others' needs first. Rearing a godly family becomes far more important than "making it" in the business world.

Ephesians 6: Fathers "bring up" children in the Lord's training and instruction

The New Testament verse which best refutes the "Sunday School Ruse" is Ephesians 6:4, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." Whose responsibility is it to carry out Christian training of our children? Not Mom; not the Sunday School teacher, midweek program or youth leader; it's Dad! The previous couple of verses talk about the obedience and honour children owe their parents. The obedience of the children and the training by the father go together. Dads, if time taken for training is the cost, obedience and honour are the pay-off, the reward. If we slough off in training our kids up with Christian instruction, why should we expect them to honour or respect us?

Hebrews 12: Respect and righteousness through discipline

This is echoed in Hebrews 12(7-11). God's discipline reflects the discipline we're supposed to receive from our fathers. To be a true son implies corresponding discipline. It says, "We have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it" (that's sensitive discipline, not harshness which becomes abuse). Respect follows the discipline. Also, verse 11 adds that discipline produces "a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it". If your kids have been trained well, they'll sleep easy at night, not fearing getting busted for drugs or painful repercussions for lies they've told, relationships betrayed. The training results in respect and righteousness.

1 Timothy 3: Man to manage family & beyond

If you need more convincing, Paul writes in 1 Timothy 3 that a man who aspires to become an overseer or elder "must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect". The man is to be the manager, "chief servant" of his wife, and especially "CEO" where the kids are concerned. Gentlemen, don't abandon your wife to shoulder the kid's concerns alone! Paul adds, "If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?" Your children are worth training not only for their own sake, but also because they're your own "training ground" for other projects God may have lined up for you in future beyond the home. Master resource and time conflicts with teenage kids, cars, and curfews, and you can master the world! (By the way, has anyone here succeeded completely yet in those areas??!) Your training of your young'uns, men, is an essential link in the chain of God's training of YOU for His Kingdom.

Titus 1: Object- children believe; hold trustworthy message, encourage others, refute unsound doctrine

Paul tells Titus that an elder must be "a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient" (1:6). That's the real goal in fathering -- children who believe. With the Holy Spirit's help, our aim is to model and induce faith in a Heavenly Father who will still be loving, supporting, and holding accountable your children when you're out of the picture, long gone from this planet. The affection and respect kids develop for their dad will some day be transferred to the One Jesus called "Abba, Papa". What, after all, do we define as success for our kids? Is it to be a political heavyweight like Bill Clinton, a media mogul such as Hugh Hefner? A tycoon like the Enron heads? Rather make it your goal to engender faith at all costs in your young proteges.

But, how do we do that? That mean's we've got to have something to pass on-- to be familiar with the Bible stories, truths of the faith, and responses to common questions ourself. Paul tells Titus a mature Christian guy "must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it." (Titus 1:9) Yes, the pastor has a job to do in teaching the trustworthy message to adults, to help them become familiar with Christ's truth through Bible studies, sermons, and pastoral counselling; but it's up to men and women to "own" it by daily digestion of the Word, meditation, prayer, and discussion with peers. (here's where "Mag Wheels" ministry comes in!) Then fellows can encourage or refute others in turn, especially their kids.

A commission for fathers: take ownership for the Christian formation of your kids

Can I speak to the men here for just a minute? How'd you like to stand and stretch, men, then that way too I know I have your attention? Though it's fathers in particular that are singled out, stand if you're a man because your turn may come some day or through influence over someone else's kid.

I'm praying you'll be as convicted as me by these Scripture passages, which is why I've gone through them at some length. Whom does God hold responsible for Christian training of the young? There's not a single mention of Sunday School in Scripture (not that it's wrong, just that's not where the responsibility rests). Men, it's up to us - not our wives, not the Sunday School, not the elevator attendant - it's up to us to "bring up" our kids "in the training and instruction of the Lord". At home, first and foremost; at church and in youth programs, secondarily. We want God's blessing on ourselves and our homes; we want our kids to feel we deserve their honour and respect; so we'd better be prepared to train, discipline, nurture and guide them with "sound doctrine", the "trustworthy message". On the basis of Holy Scripture, I invite and challenge you to take part in a commissioning for the Christian training of our children.

So, do you want to love and serve God as a man? (I'm asking you some leading questions here, think about it and respond with a nod of your head if you agree)

Do you want your children, and the kids of this congregation, to learn and absorb God's saving deeds and truth, and come to put their trust in God?

Do you want this congregation to be strong, able to minister to families by helping parents in their role of impressing Christ's teaching on kids' hearts so they may enjoy His fullness of life?

If so, then as your pastor, and on the basis of God's revealed Word, I commission you men to take ownership for the Christian training of the young in your homes and this congregation. God help you and bless you, and make you a mature manager by it! Thank you, you may be seated.

(This doesn't mean the women Sunday School teachers are out of a job; I just hope they're going to get a whole bunch more help and support, maybe even have couples teaching if that's how God leads. Point is, [for men especially] we cannot outsource this responsibility to someone else.)

Myth 2: "Sports is more important than spiritual training."

The other associated myths I'm not going to treat in detail, just surface them as problems and point out some Scriptural correctives in passing. This one is, "Sports is more important than spiritual training." Now, a parent would probably never outright say this, but sometimes their actions would make you wonder. For example, while attendance at 9:30 am Sunday School apparently is a problem, how many parents routinely go to heroic efforts to make sure they get their kid to a hockey game 20 miles away at 8 in the morning? People are very devoted to their athletic commitments. Is it more than coincidence that the campaign for the expansion of the local arena has been dubbed the "heart and soul" campaign because the arena's seen as being the "heart and soul of the community"? Fifty years ago and ages before, that was the church!

Now, there's nothing wrong with sports. I was active in baseball and soccer in my own youth, others of us have enjoyed badminton, volleyball, basketball, and so on. Loving God with our strength involves exercise. The problem comes when sports commitments begin to conflict with spiritual ones: what gives? In Chariots of Fire, Eric Liddell refuses to run the Olympic heat he's scheduled for because it's on a Sunday. When our own son was in hockey, the rule of thumb we came up with was he wasn't allowed to take part in Sunday games unless it was a tournament (and even that was a difficult decision). On the day of judgment, humans will not see the fourth commandment "Remember the Sabbath Day by keeping it holy" superceded by a Nike symbol and slogan - "Just do it." Better to hear the coach or other players protest that in a limited way "you let the team down!" than to have to confess before the Almighty that you let His team down.

1 Timothy 4: Superior value of training to be godly (the real "cross" training)

Paul tells Timothy, "Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly.For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." (1 Timothy 4:7-8) Hear that? "Train yourself to be godly." The real "cross training".

Myth 3: "Christianity is an add-on compartment to be fitted into an otherwise busy and fulfilling life."

Canadian sociologist Reg Bibby has noted that religion for Canadians has become more and more just another consumer commodity to be fitted in amongst other "fragmented gods". Baby boomers, my own generation, have adopted a lifestyle of rushing here and there to try and let our kids take advantage of as many different opportunities as possible, so they may fully "self-actualize" and have high self-esteem. But religious priorities can bite the dust in the midst of the shuffle and chauffeuring if we're not careful. A second ballet class in a week for Jenna would probably not compare in value to her favourite midweek Christian program for junior girls. On the other hand, maybe if a child already participates in a couple of good midweek Christian activities, that early morning 9:30 am Sunday School class isn't quite as necessary. Just make sure some of the Lord's instruction is there, in home and away from home.

Luke 10: "Many things" upset, "one thing" needed

If your schedule's helter-skelter, less can be better. In Luke 10 we find Martha worried and upset about the "many things" she's trying to prepare for Jesus' visit. Mary, by contrast, is enjoying sitting and listening at the Master's feet. Jesus' opinion? "...only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better..." (Luke 10:42) Make Jesus the cornerstone and anchor of your life, the matrix for everything else, rather than trying to jam him in to that one leftover slot in your datebook.

Myth 4: "It's more important to be popular than to be pure."

This may relate to that matter of letting down the team, or not participating at all in something because of Sunday commitments. Christians have to get used to the idea of being different. Not even Jesus could please everybody, and if you're trying to please the world, you're performing for the wrong audience. There are times in life when Christian behaviour will stick out like a sore thumb and earn us ridicule, terms like "square" (in my day) or "dork".

If you are "in Christ", you may never be part of the "in" crowd as the world sees it. Your belief that "true love waits" is probably not going to automatically win you a date with the hottest guy or gal in school. That's why it's so important to have Christian friends and groups that reinforce those godly truths rather than ridiculing them.

John 15: if Jesus' "friends", will be hated by world

In John 15(14) Jesus says, "You are my friends if you do what I command." Cool. Friends with the Big Guy. But a couple of verses later He warns not everybody's going to be so friendly with us. "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own.As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.That is why the world hates you.Remember the words I spoke to you: ‘No servant is greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also..." (John 15:18-20) Yikes! Popularity contest winners don't usually receive your very own personalized set of crucifixion nails. But hang in there. Stay pure. You'll be popular with the Lord, who one day will say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Myth 5: "Christian Education is complete when you're done Sunday School -- Confirmation is graduation."

In some churches which introduce candidates at the beginning of confirmation classes, it has been known and bemoaned that some families haven't been seen at church since the time their previous kid was confirmed. Confirmation was seen as graduation; Sunday School apparently completed this individual's growth in Christian education.

Jesus' example, milk/solid food, maturity

We read about Jesus in Luke 4:16 that "on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom." Note those last four words: it was Jesus' custom or habit to attend synagogue regularly. Apparently even the Son of God had not learned enough to "graduate", so he kept coming. Hebrews 5(14) describes the mature as moving on to solid food rather than milk for an infant; "by constant use [they] have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil." The training continues all through life. The New Testament aim for us is to "grow up" in Christ and become "mature"; "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth." (Eph.4:13,15; 2 Timothy 2:15)

Myth 6: "You go to church and Sunday School because you have to, you should, you must."

This myth is quite different in direction than the others, but also deadly. Just as we can get too lax about Sunday observance, we can also become too legalistic.

Matthew 22,23: Most important to love God, not be legalistic

Jesus said that "the first and greatest commandment" was not to make sure you warm a pew every week, but to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind (Mt.22:37f) A few verses later he lit into the Pharisees for their legalistic hypocrisy. Everything they did was for show. They tithed spices but neglected the more important matters - justice, mercy, and faithfulness. They cleaned the outside of utensils but inside they were full of greed and self-indulgence. Like walking tombs, on the inside they were full of uncleanness (Mt.23:5,23,25,28). Christ wants our religious actions to be accompanied by genuine motivation.

Hebrews 10: not give up meeting, but draw near with sincere heart

The single verse in the New Testament which most compels regular church attendance is Hebrews 10:25: "Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another— and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Some of us would have liked the author to put it more strongly than that, but the wording "let's not give up" means let's not "leave behind" or "abandon" meeting together. Don't forsake coming to the point that it's a habit. Rather than checking off a full slate on the attendance register, the emphasis is on spurring each other on to "love and good deeds", drawing "near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith" (Heb.10:24,22). There are seasons in people's lives when it may be difficult to go to church, for example in a period of extreme grief. Let's not bash people with the law but woo them with grace, testifying to the positive benefits in our own experience, and prayerfully let the Holy Spirit convict where necessary.

John 1, 2 Corinthians 3,5: Jesus brings grace, life; compelled by love not law

Legalism can be as deadly as laxity. The letter kills, but the Spirit gives life (2Cor.3:6) If it's not grace, it's not Christianity! John wrote, "the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." "From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another." (Jn.1:17,16) When we feel our compulsions or obsessions getting the better of us, even religious compulsions, we need to pull back and take a big breath in the Holy Spirit. He's working with each person at different stages. Let Jesus' love be your only compulsion. Paul said, "Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, therefore all died" - so that we may live no longer for ourselves, but for Him who died for us and was raised again (2Cor.5:14). That compelling love is drawing others too, all the time - to the One who is Truth and not a ruse or Trick. Let's pray.